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Valentine’s Day Jokes 2014

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Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?
Because you can really party hearty!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
I love ewe!

What two words have a thousand letters in them?
Post Office!

Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
She stole his heart.

What is the difference between a calendar and you?
A calendar has a date on Valentine’s day.

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?
Let me call you Tweet heart!

What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valentiny!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I’m stuck on you!

What did one light bulb say to the other?
I love you a whole watt!

Cabbage always has a heart, green beans string along.
You’re such a Tomato, will you Peas to me belong?

You’ve been the Apple of my eye, you know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together, we’d make a perfect Pear.

You’re fun to hang around with.
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.

What did the boy snake say to the girl snake on Valentine’s Day?
Give me a hug and a hiss, honey!

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.

I’m sweet on you!
What did one pickle say to the other?

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