Funny sayings and phrases for status, Funny statuses for Facebook

Funny sayings and phrases for status, Funny statuses for Facebook, Funniest status updates for Facebook, Funny statuses for whatsapp, Funny statuses yahoo, Funny statuses that will get likes.

GOD created the world, everything else is made in china.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.

Look up for inspiration, down for concentration but don’t look side to side for information.

If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.

As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition

Love is like heaven but hurts like hell.

The ideal man doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.

They call her ‘The radio station’ cuz she’s so easy to pick up

Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it!

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong

He who laughs last, didn’t get it.

Man who goes to bed with an itchy butt … wakes up with a stinky finger!

Children in the back seat cause accidents… accidents in the back seat cause children!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

I’m not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.

He’s as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank

About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.

He’s that useless he couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you’re with someone you’re not supposed to be seen with.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

She’s been engaged more times than a telephone switchboard!

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, age don’t matter.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are Footprints on the moon…

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