LeeX

It is a computer scientist, an engineer and a chemist who is in a car.
They walk quietly when suddenly, the body breaks down.
The mechanic takes the floor:
- I understand where it comes from.
Just before the glitch, I heard a noise characteristic problems of sliding of the pistons in the cylinders.
The kinematic screw of the whole could not verify the fundamental principle of dynamics (PFD), if you add to this the contribution of the loss of momentum detrimental to the audit of the PFD, it is normal that it has farted.
Therefore grease the pistons so that the sliding takes place smoothly and the car will roll again. Hearing this, the chemist is that he has something to say:
- I’m sorry not to feel this one.
For my part, I felt the emanations of dimethyl-hexane three seconds before we were falling down.
In addition, the combustion gases mixed with oxygen from the air was stopped due to a derivative of glycerol (probably from the cylinder walls) that should never have become diluted in the mixture.
The internal micro-explosions then stopped, hence the sudden stop of the vehicle.
I suggest adding a special oil containing a chemical compound that prevents glycerol to dilute.
And we can leave!
The engineer and chemist look at the computer and wait for his opinion.
The latter reflected a moment and said:
- Well, uh, it’s simple:
I propose that we go down all three of the car, and you hand over the contact.

With Windows 98, it was on the brink of the precipice.
With Windows XP, it was a big step forward

What it means 95 to Windows 95:
1. The percentage of PCs that will require improved hardware to run the system.
2. The percentage of people who must purchase the “upgrade pack”
3. The number of megabytes required on the hard disk
4. The number of pages in the manual “EASY INSTALL”
5. The percentage of programs that do not work on this new OS
6. The number of minutes to install
7. The minimum number of support calls for the launch
8. The number of times we have to change disk to install
9. The average number of seconds to wait before the system does not crash
10. The age of Bill Gates when the bugs of the system have all been eradicated
11. The number of people willing to pay for the new version
12. The minimum number of Mhz to run it more or less normally
13. RAM needed
14. Year or he should leave the
15. The number of critical errors during a normal day of use.
16. The number of updates to correct these critical errors.
17. The number of calls received technical Micro $ oft per second (in France only).
18. The number of minutes waiting to access the hotline of Micro $ oft.
19. The number of facilities before the run.
20. The number of times you run ScanDisk to recover lost clusters for a day of use.
21. the number of minutes between each system crash
22. Earnings (in%) made by Micro $ oft for this product.
23. The number of hair remaining on the user’s head after a day of use.
24. The number of seconds during the boot.
25. The number of (c), TM et al (r) logo.
26. The percentage of facilities that failed the first time. Every 30 months computers double in speed. That’s when Microsoft produced a new version of Windows that slows them down to their original speed …

What is the difference between Windows 98 and a virus? – The virus it works

What is the difference between Windows 2000 and a nail? Auncune both are planted

Dudule virus.

Dear visitor,
You have just received a computer virus in Belgium.
As we are not very advanced technologically, this is a manual virus.
Please delete all files from your hard drive and send this email to everyone you know.
Thank you very much to help.

Dudule.

What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?
One is a billionaire park where the big monsters eat up everything that is in their path.
The other is a film.

What is the difference between Bill Gates and God …
- God does not take himself to Bill Gates …

The new version of Windows 2006 is almost over, it only remains to incoroporer errors.

He is greeted by St. Peter:
- In fact, Bill, I do not know what I’ll do you.
I have doubts:
do I have to send you to heaven or to hell?
On the one hand, you helped society by putting a computer in almost every home, but on the other, you created this abominable Windows 95 and even 98.
I’ll do something I’ve never done before:
I will allow you to choose where you want to go.
Bill Gates replied:
- What is the difference between heaven and hell?
Saint Peter said,
- I’m willing to let you the opportunity to visit both places, if it can help you in your choice. – In this case, going to see hell first, Bill offers.
It therefore goes to hell, arrived on a beautiful beach and pristine with clear water, lots of girls in bikinis running around, laughing and offered.
The sun is shining and the temperature is perfect.
Bill is delighted. – It’s great here!
Bill says to Saint Peter.
If this is hell, then I must see what a paradise!
Paradise is in fact a place perched on the clouds, with angels flitting from here and there, playing the harp and singing.
It’s beautiful, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a moment, then makes his decision:
- Hmm, I think I prefer Hell, he told St. Peter.
So Bill goes to hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to visit the late billionaire to see how he is in hell.
Upon arriving, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming in flames at the bottom of deep caves, making himself tortured and burned by demons. – How are you, Bill?
Asks St. Peter. – It’s atrocious!
It has nothing to do with the Hell I visited two weeks ago!
I can not believe what happens to me!
What happened to the other place, with beautiful beach and beautiful girls playing in the waves?!
- It was the demo, meets St. Peter.