Funny Quotations and Sayings – Famous Quotations

Funny Quotations and Sayings – Famous Quotations

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know

Death is hereditary.

I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury. George Burns

Never give a sucker an even break. W. C. Fields

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning. George W Bush

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Quotations and Sayings about Men

Quotations and Sayings about Men

A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. ~Oscar Wilde

Men should continue to fight, but they should fight for things worth while, not for imaginary geographical lines, racial prejudices and private greed draped in the colors of patriotism.
Albert Einstein

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
– Malcolm De Chazal

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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Friendship – The Best Friendship Quotes and Sayings

Friendship – The Best Friendship Quotes and Sayings

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey

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Quotations about Love – Quotations and Sayings

Quotations about Love – Quotations and Sayings

What is love all about? What are some pressures that are attacking the true meaning of love and passion? “I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself.

Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope

To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.

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Quotes and Sayings about Women

Quotes and Sayings about Women

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~Bill Maher

From birth to eighteen, a girl needs good parents, from eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks, from thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality, and from fifty-five on she needs cash.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow

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Famous Quotations and Sayings – Funny Quotes

Famous Quotations and Sayings – Funny Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils … – Louis Hector Berlioz

Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on. Sam Goldwyn

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. W.C. Fields

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Rudyard Kipling

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. Dilbert

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope

It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.