Famous Quotations and Sayings – Funny Quotes
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils … – Louis Hector Berlioz
Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on. Sam Goldwyn
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
A woman drove me to drink, and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. W.C. Fields
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. Rudyard Kipling
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. Dilbert
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.